Hemos hablado en este blog sobre las mudanzas con animales o con niños y también hemos cubierto lo relativo a las mudanzas con personas de la tercera edad. Ahora bien, ¿y la mudanza con adolescentes? ¿Hay que tomar algún tipo de precaución cuando nuestro núcleo familiar incluye “pequeños adultos” de, por ejemplo, 14 o 15 años?
La realidad es que tratar con adolescentes siempre es un reto, independientemente de la situación a la que te enfrentes. Malas contestaciones, votos de silencio, malas caras y actos rebeldes de toda índole están a la orden del día cuando se trata con ellos. Es lógico asumir pues que la mudanza a un nuevo barrio, ciudad o, peor todavía, a un país diferente, no va a ser muy bien considerada desde su punto de vista. Tengamos en cuenta que el traslado implicará que dejen atrás amigos y relaciones para abandonar lo conocido y alejarse de su zona de confort.
Es por ello que hoy queremos abordar la mudanza con adolescentes para minimizar el impacto que lo anterior pueda representar para toda la familia y que no se produzcan males mayores. Vaya por delante que deberás armarte de paciencia y será imprescindible que estés predispuesto a negociar los diferentes parámetros de la mudanza que puedan afectar a tu hijo o hija.
Mudanza con adolescentes; comunicación, comunicación, comunicación
1.- Habla con tu hijo. Está claro que un adolescente no es todavía un adulto, pero también está claro que tiene una opinión formada sobre una gran variedad de temas, así como que tiene capacidad de análisis y resolución de los problemas que se le puedan plantear. Es por ello vital que en cuanto esté confirmado que la mudanza va a tener lugar, hacérselo saber a él el primero, para que no se entere por terceras personas y evitar así que pueda sentirse desplazado o ignorado. Deberás explicarle cuáles son las consecuencias de la mudanza que le afectan directamente y todo ello has de hacerlo con la suficiente antelación para que tenga tiempo de asumir los cambios que se avecinan. Si no lo haces, lo normal es que un adolescente presuponga que le has estado ocultando los hechos con alguna motivación egoísta.
2.- Sé abierto y transparente. Cuando vas a realizar una mudanza con adolescentes, has de ser muy claro y honesto en cuanto a cuáles son los verdaderos motivos de traslado. Debes intentar justificar y demostrar que la mudanza es una necesidad de la familia y que no se trata solamente de un capricho. Llegado este punto, debes también empezar a exponer las ventajas de vivir en el nuevo destino, para que tu hijo empiece a valorar los puntos positivos de la mudanza y cómo le afectan éstos a él. Debes dejar claro que vas a necesitar su ayuda y que todos en la familia son piezas fundamentales en el proceso. Todos han de estar de acuerdo en los próximos pasos a seguir para que la mudanza sea un éxito.
3.- Fomenta el debate y el diálogo. Así como los adultos tenemos preocupaciones y temores, también los tienen nuestros hijos. Una mudanza con adolescentes es una fuente importante de estrés para nuestros hijos y debemos saber escuchar cuáles son sus miedos o frustraciones. Es importante que sepan que su opinión es importante y que es tenida en cuenta. Si a pesar de todas estas cautelas es imposible la comunicación o el diálogo, es mejor cesar en el intento y darle a tu hijo algo de tiempo para procesar la situación. Lo más probable es que el tiempo le ayude a razonar y asimilar lo que va a suceder.
Algunos trucos sencillos que harán tu mudanza con adolescentes más llevadera consisten en hacer a tu hijo partícipe de algunas de las decisiones importantes relativas al traslado. Por ejemplo.
- Suponiendo que tengas algo de flexibilidad con las fechas, ¿por qué no le pides a tu hijo que proponga algunas fechas que le vengan bien a él? Siempre que sea posible, tendrás mucho ganado si la mudanza es posible en dichas fechas.
- Implica a tu hijo en el proceso de empaquetado y haz de ello un juego, haciendo honor al dicho: “¡la familia que empaqueta unida, permanece unida!”
- Encarga a tu hijo “misiones especiales” que hagan que se sienta valorado. Por ejemplo, pídele que investigue en Internet todo lo que pueda sobre vuestra nueva ciudad.
Continuaremos próximamente con más consejos sobre la mudanza con adolescentes. Por tratarse de un tema más complejo de lo habitual, hemos decidido dividir este post en dos entregas. Seguiremos informando.
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